Dating Sites

So I joined a dating site. Why, you might ask, would I do such a thing, having given up on relationships? Well, that factors into that decision. See, I joined this site... about six months ago. In that time, I have managed to reject every possible match. Now, why would I join a dating site and reject every person it could send me? I didn't choose to do that, although I now sign on just for that reason. A small part of me wants to see what happens when the website decides I'm undateable.

Here's what happened. I'd sign on, check out the matches the website suggested to me. She's a tramp; she has no concept of the english language; she does highly illegal drugs on a regular basis. Maybe I'm just too picky, I consider. So I lower my standards. I message the tramp. She never responds.

I try again the next day. I message another girl that doesn't quite meet my standards. Again, no response. Next day, I do the same thing. She responds! Well, apparently, she's looking for some musclebound moron that can't figure out how to tie his shoes. Wow. The next response I get, this time from a drug-addled idiot that dropped out of kindergarten, informs me that she already has a boyfriend. Why are you on a dating site.

Maybe it really is me. I'm not seeing how I can change that, though. I've actually had a thought, and I think I'm going to stick with it. Here's my theory: My soul mate died tragically in a car wreck, about ten or so years ago. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time, why not? And it would conveniently explain my complete inability to find a female I have even the slightest interest in, aside from the fact that she has breasts.

Well, let me take that back. There's one woman I have even a little interest in. She's part of why I've given up, though. I can't even remember the exact timeline anymore. Roughly four years straight, of on again, off again, constant mistakes and hate. And that's for a girl I'd claimed to love? If that's what love is going to mean for me, I should have dropped the whole idea a long, long time ago.

I'd tried to get ask out another girl, too. A girl who'd told me, over and over, that she wasn't ready for a relationship. Not quite. Not yet. And then, in a moment of weakness, or maybe confidence, I ask her out again. She thinks it's a good idea. We should totally go out. I might even manage to finally get some, she hints.

And then she drops the bomb on me. She has a boyfriend, she says. She's had him since a few days after the last time I asked her out, and she wasn't ready. We've been communicating through text message. I look at my phone. I delete every message I've ever sent her, every message she's ever sent me. I delete her number. I take the battery out of my phone, set phone and battery on my desk.

I consider my religion, for I am a Christian, hard as that may be to believe. I believe in God. I believe he has a plan. I know, for a fact, that I will love to watch these people burn. I may be the worst Christian ever.